By now, you’ve likely seen this:


According to their press release on the subject, “By shifting the sizes, we’re able to provide coffee lovers with a full range of five size options: from extra small, all the way up to the new extra large.”

So guys, what about the fact that that much coffee might not be good for someone? That much more coffee means that much more caffeine, that much more 18% fat cream, that much more sugar. Not to mention the fact that you’ve just added the potential for more paper cup waste to our garbage loads.

Tims says that this new size was introduced because customers were asking for bigger coffees. Well, my kid asks for candy for breakfast sometimes, but I know better than to let her have it. (Actually, that’s not even true. My 6 year-old even knows better than to overload on stimulants first thing in the morning.)

Come on, Tims. I know that your brand is all wholesome Canadian hockey games and janitors building makeshift changerooms for the only girl playing in a boy’s league and sending kids to summer camp and you even serve porridge now, but let’s be honest: you are actually in the business of hooking people on the junk! One look at your menu and you’ve got sugar-coated bleached carb lumps, sodium-doused soups, and your “healthy” options… not so much. That oatmeal I mentioned? 20g of sugar. To put that into context, a Hershey’s Milk Chocolate bar has 19g.

I know, I know – you’re just trying to run your business and it’s not your fault that people are actually consuming coffees that large. Hmm, sounds like something the cigarette companies used to say. There comes a point where you have to be held accountable for the part you’re playing in Canadians’ diets.

Now, for all of you who are glad that there’s a 24oz bucket of coffee to wake you up in the morning, how about just getting to bed a little earlier instead. Don’t have enough time to do that, you say? How about adding up all the time you’re spending in the loo, pissing out that jug o’ joe, PLUS time spent waiting in line at the drive-thru or in-store. That should afford you a few extra REM cycles.

Originally posted February 8, 2012


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